Snakes on the Brain

When my kids ask me when Snakes on a Plane hit its cultural zenith,
I'll tell them that it was when they did a tv specuak on pedophiles.
In order to catch society's sickest sexual deviants, they had adults
pose as children. One of the handles for a 13 year old sex pot was
"Snakes on a Girl". Cultural significance at its finest.

Not much else to say about the flick until I see it with Stephen and
company this evening. I had a dream about the movie last night.
Instead of being about Snakes on a Plane, it was about Snakes on a Bus
in Outerspace! It was sorta like Speed meets Snakes on a Plane...in
outer space. The calm cool collected bus driver helped passengers
fight planet sized snakes with staying on schedule. If there's any
justice in the world, this will be the plot of the sequel.

Post your thoughts about the movie here. Everyone knows you'll see it tonight.

Joementum

Remember "Joementum"? It was a mythical energy force that was
supposed to propel the frog voiced Lieberman to presidential victory a
couple years ago. He had an amazing plan to harnice this strange
force live on Fox tv. The would be to appear naked on Hannity on
Colmes. How he'd do this without distrupting the show is a mystery to
me, honestly. After that, he'd stretch the sagging fat under his
arms, affectionately nicked named "water wings" into fleshy bat wings.
He'd then invoke the rites of the Ancient Demonocrats to bless him
with the Spirit of the Vote. Unholy engery would then fill the
studio, lifting him into the air and he'd escape the studio. Flying
through the air, an ancient 600 year old dinosaur, voters would feel
compell to leave their homes so that they could view the spectacle.
His liver spots would bloom, and out of them a vote enducing
psychoactive would excrete from the beautifl holes. From the heavens
a mist would descend to God's favoured nation and Lieberman would
guarentee his place in presidental history. His muppet like face
would feed on the blood of fat babies. He'd shit tax breaks for the
rich. Terrorism would be a thing of the past. If it wasn't for the
true instrument of evil, Ned Lamont we'd be living in a perfect
world. Alas, poor Joe. Alas, poor us.

Miwako Takabe is still easily one of the most beautiful women that I know.

Sequelitis

I had a dream last night about the Marvel universe, Ghost Rider, in
particular. Acording to my dream, the bike that Ghost Rider drive is
a top seller there. In my wake filled state, this seems to make a lot
of sense. I'm suprised that no one has addressed it,

The direct to DVD industry is licking the asshole of Disney and finds
that they like what they taste. Shelves are filled with almost decade
old sequels to movies that did boffo in the rental market. Do you
think that the cinema going public were clamouring for a sequel to 8mm
or Starship Troopers? Wait, don't answer that, I fear I shall be
ashamed by your answers. Newest to this ever growing pantheon of
direct to DVD sequels that, no doubt, are superior to the the
originals, is Like Mike 2. I saw Like Mike a billion years ago.
Seeing the flick caused God's head to explode. Our universe is holy
brain guts, spread from Cosmic Centre to Cosmic End, all because of
this flick. I didn't bother to do anything besides look at the
package, but I have no doubt that the sequel is the story of the first
told again for a new generation of children whose lives missed the
magic of the original. Alas, I was hoping that the shoes in the
sequel would be worn by a present day Bow Wow and would turn out to be
the shoes of Michael Jackson. The climax of the film would be him be
him raping all the members of the orphanage followed by his marriage
to a pill popping starlet. Do this, and you can pave the stree in
million dollar bills. The people clamour for it.